I have rambled around in my own mind long enough, I'm concluding this dilemma and coming to my own viewpoint. Perfect love....does not exist! Love at first sight, nope, not buying it! However, I will go so far as to say, yes, within a relatively short time you may say "now there's someone I think I could spend the rest of my life with". One time I visited with a counselor who after listening to my story said, "well, you are very tenacious, I give you that!" Tenacious? What the hell is that? Of course I didn't let on, I just nodded and said thank ya. And ran home and consorted Webster on the meaning of tenacious. This is it:

Tenacious - adjective. Holding fast; characterized by keeping a firm hold (often fol. By of): a tenacious grip on my arm; tenacious of old habits OR highly retentive: a tenacious memory OR pertinacious, persistent, stubborn, or obstinate OR
or sticky; viscous or glutinous OR holding together; cohesive; not
easily pulled asunder; tough. Basically, it means stubborn or obstinate.

So you see, there is one thing I do know about and that is holding on for the long haul. I held on for twenty years to an unhealthy relationship, I think I would be a tenacious champ in a good one!
I believe love grows. I've believed it all along but have allowed myself to be blown with the winds of others ideas on love. Not any more! I am standing firm on this. I believe the best love grown is from two souls who are whole within themselves. One does not complete the other. Two beings who are focused on being the best they can be individually are not apt to spend their time finding fault with one another.

Spending forever looking for that perfect person out there is absurd. Conclusion drawn! I prefer that one who is as interested in living their life to the fullest as I am! Perfect is what you make it and how much you are willing to work for it! Away with delusional fantasies!

We are each powerless to evoke change in another human being. One must be willing to listen and evoke the change in them self. The lack of owning one's responsibility to continually grow themselves is the downfall of a relationship. That's it....that's what makes love grow!