Monday, August 2, 2010
Wow...it's been well over a year since I've been here. Things over on myspace have become mundane and slow this summer so I thought I'd come back to this page o'mine and revamp. I fiddled a bit here with the background but I see it will take some gettting used to new things to redo so I'll keep working at it and see what I come up with. My creativity seems to be eluding me these days which has me frustrated to no living end. I have this overwhelming desire to do something but no idea what it is.I read not long ago that it is really not a creative lull but quite the opposite in that so many ideas swirl, it is difficult for me to make sense of any of them. I agree! I also read that it is better to attempt than to just sit among the confusion. Lately, I am making attempts. Still nothing complete, but attempts none the less.
I've spent much of the summer sneaking here and there snapping fotos of people, places, and things. Photography brings me peace and keeps me focusing on the simple things in life like playing in the fountains, frogs, flowers, and swimming in the creek. It keeps me out of the "woe is me" and into all the creator has placed before me. It came to me today in a moment, something I had let slip from mind, and that is "When I got busy, I got better". Now that doesn't mean busy as in being overly involved in activities but busy as in actively keeping my mind focused on the thing before me, the things I love to do.Today, it was something so simple as watering the plants on the porch versus sitting on the swing worrying about things out of my authority. I love simple philosphies...that work :)
The truth of the matter is the economy has me in a stew of worry.Single parenthood can be frightening when it somes to security or at least I am finding it so. Reality is telling me to prepare in what way I can as I have not felt the complete brunt of what is to come. So I feel like I am living quite on the edge. I think it's time to conquer some of my creative fears and open myself up to new directions, new ideas.
Worry is a horrible thing. I am battling it as I can't ever remember having done. I'm clinging to the promise of daily manna and willing myself to trust more. It is, indeed, a battle. But this soldier will not give up ... I will seek peace and pursue it one day at a time, one moment at a time. Less is More .... I just have to adjust.
Posted by paige at 8:48 PM